Why Prioritizing Yourself and Mom Friendships are a Game-Changer for Moms
Valentine’s Day often brings a focus on romantic love, but for many moms, the bigger question is whether they even have time or energy for it. Between the mental load, the constant demands of motherhood, and exhaustion, finding space for self-love—let alone intimacy—can feel impossible. Research shows that the weight of household responsibilities can significantly impact relationships, leading to stress, resentment, and even decreased desire in partnerships. But one of the most powerful ways to combat this overwhelm is prioritizing self-care and leaning on mom friendships for support.
How the Mental Load Affects Relationships
Studies reveal that parents—mothers in particular—report decreased sexual satisfaction and emotional connection due to the disproportionate burden of household management, childcare, and invisible labor. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that when women take on an unequal share of household labor, they often perceive their partners as dependents rather than equals. This perception can lower sexual desire and lead to relationship strain. (Source)
Simply put, when moms feel like they are managing everything alone, their partners can start to feel like another responsibility. This often results in frustration and emotional distance, making it difficult to nurture intimacy.
Breaking the Cycle of Shame and Isolation
For many moms, there’s an unspoken shame in admitting that romance and intimacy might feel overwhelming—or even undesirable—due to exhaustion and resentment. This shame can create isolation, making moms feel like they are the only ones struggling. However, research and shared experiences show that these feelings are common. Talking about them and unmasking struggles with trusted mom friends can help normalize these challenges, reduce guilt, and open the door to healing.
The Power of Mom Friendships
Building strong friendships with other moms is a crucial part of self-care. Mom friends offer a safe space to vent, share experiences, and feel validated. Studies suggest that social support plays a significant role in mental well-being and reducing stress. Engaging in honest conversations with fellow moms can foster a sense of connection and empowerment, making it easier to focus on personal well-being.
Prioritizing Yourself as an Act of Love
Before moms can pour into others, they need to pour into themselves. The key question to ask is: What do I need right now? This shift in mindset encourages self-reflection and prioritization of personal needs, rather than constantly placing others first.
Here are a few simple ways to start prioritizing self-care:
Reframe self-care. It’s not about indulgence; it’s about ensuring emotional and physical well-being.
Reject guilt. Taking time for oneself is essential, not selfish.
Dismantle the ‘bad mother’ myth. A well-rested, fulfilled mom is better equipped to care for her family.
Lean on your mom friends. Honest, supportive friendships create a strong emotional foundation.
Self-love isn’t just about spa days or grand gestures—it’s about recognizing and honoring personal needs every day. By prioritizing well-being and fostering meaningful mom friendships, mothers can feel more supported, less isolated, and better equipped to manage the challenges of motherhood. When moms take care of themselves, they aren’t just benefiting themselves—they are creating a healthier, happier environment for their families as well.